posted in happier mood

Just to clarify, most of the posts in this blog are written wen I’m super pissed at him. We are bound together for this life at least, watever I may say.

FDI Retail

I don’t know much about money matters. But I know that if I. Can get a thing worth Rs 5 for Rs 2 I would like the latter. Why should I worry about the neighbourhood Baniya’s margin? Does he think about my home budget before selling me stuff on MRP? Hopefully this will motivate them to educate their children better.

It has to end one day !

The thing about this particular blog of mine is that when there are no posts think that things are going fine. But when I do post, the mind is in a turmoil. I have decided that I need to move back to home next year between mar to jul. I am not enjoying job anymore. There have been lay-offs due to the hovering recession. We have come down from 42 to 25 now. A few more have to go. The overall environment has become toxic. There’s one upmanship going around. In order to look good, people are trying to show you down. And it seems to be working for them. Well it has never been my style of work. This whole corporate thing never appealed to me. At home front, Mom said yesterday she needs me to help her with admissions that are gonna happen in Feb/Mar. Dad was not feeling well today. But he has to drive her to work everyday. I told him to hire a driver and her to hire an office assistant, but Dad shot down both the ideas. In any case, I do have to start helping there cause the recognition and affiliation process don’t seem to be moving at all. Moreover funds are constantly needed. I think a short trip on a boat will help in that matter. In a few months I can make up for the whole year and devote energy to the school. The school seems to be the only thing remaining in my life. I now don’t know if I will ever adopt a kid. I am turning 32 now. I had set 35 as the deadline. Moreover I don’t see myself as a person fit to maintain any relationship. Here, today we are still fighting over the girl- friend. Stupid thing actually. But what I know is that if a person wants to screen who I should be friends with and always stand in between me and them, YOU are the person I don’t want in life.
You, the reader, tells me that 7 years you have given to this relationship, won’t you be lonely? And I say, don’t you think I am lonely now? This secret blog is the only person I have to talk to. The only friends I am allowed to have are those that I know through you, the one’s you think I am safe to have. So if this is not lonely how lonely will THAT life be? So I am gonna move back to my old life. With a new blog and new passwords. I don’t think I will communicate with him much once I move back. This relationship has to end. I think I willl choke its throat slowly…surely. Maybe its the end of the shani ki saadhe saati that the pundit says ends for me in November.

It has to end one day !

The thing about this particular blog of mine is that when there are no posts think that things are going fine. But when I do post, the mind is in a turmoil. I have decided that I need to move back to home next year between mar to jul. I am not enjoying job anymore. There have been lay-offs due to the hovering recession. We have come down from 42 to 25 now. A few more have to go. The overall environment has become toxic. There’s one upmanship going around. In order to look good, people are trying to show you down. And it seems to be working for them. Well it has never been my style of work. This whole corporate thing never appealed to me. At home front, Mom said yesterday she needs me to help her with admissions that are gonna happen in Feb/Mar. Dad was not feeling well today. But he has to drive her to work everyday. I told him to hire a driver and her to hire an office assistant, but Dad shot down both the ideas. In any case, I do have to start helping there cause the recognition and affiliation process don’t seem to be moving at all. Moreover funds are constantly needed. I think a short trip on a boat will help in that matter. In a few months I can make up for the whole year and devote energy to the school. The school seems to be the only thing remaining in my life. I now don’t know if I will ever adopt a kid. I am turning 32 now. I had set 35 as the deadline. Moreover I don’t see myself as a person fit to maintain any relationship. Here, today we are still fighting over the girl- friend. Stupid thing actually. But what I know is that if a person wants to screen who I should be friends with and always stand in between me and them, YOU are the person I don’t want in life.
You, the reader, tells me that 7 years you have given to this relationship, won’t you be lonely? And I say, don’t you think I am lonely now? This secret blog is the only person I have to talk to. The only friends I am allowed to have are those that I know through you, the one’s you think I am safe to have. So if this is not lonely how lonely will THAT life be? So I am gonna move back to my old life. With a new blog and new passwords. Maybe its the end of the shani ki saadhe saati that the pundit says ends for me in November.

Friends & Lovers

My mobile seems to have been compromised ! :O
Ha ha ! Okay I won’t try to sound so conspiratorial. I had hidden wordpress app in the mobile but today I found it was unhidden. So if my dear bf, you have read this blog, I’m pissed. But then it doesn’t matter. You get what ur looking for.
Moving on, I had written the title of this post about a week back. Never got round to writing it. What I know is that he got to know that I had shared my apprehensions about his activities with the only true close friend I ever had. That she was originally his friend is a separate story. Exactly what they talked I do not know. But the long n short of it is that she sent me nasty msgs the next morning, told me to have a happy life and deleted me from bbm contact list. And that was it.
I agree that it was wrong of me to share details of our personal life with a third person. But I don’t regret it. The fact is that the whole incident has left me without any friend and I don’t have any desire of making new friends anymore. I feel I should spend this much energy in a) my art b) the school and c) any studies that. I’m supposed to do. I have no hard feelings against her. She was only trying to be helpful but got caught up in the murkiness. But I am definitely bitter against him. He’s so satisfied that I don’t get to talk. to her anymore. Did I mention that he was jealous of her? Just look at the absurdity of it all. he can be jealous of a female with me, but I can’t be jay when he flirts with men on gay hook up sites

Friends & Lovers

Back to the Grind

Why do we BB users have to bloody pay for Grindr when its free for iPhone n android? It sucks. Have I said before tht it wud b interesting to note all the gay guys around the office if I had it on my mobile
Anyways, I have downloaded it on iPad and uploaded my pic too, which is a first for me. Had never done that earlier cause of my paranoia. The logic tht only gay guys wud make the effort to search, download n install the app seems logical to me. The logic is same for g4m but somehow I haven’t uploaded pics on it. Another fact is that on grindr limits ur network to those who have the app, mostly iPhone users. on the other hand g4m is universally available. The other thing is tht grindr users are not google searchable while g4m users are. And with grindr ur not stuck with a username. anyways I’m gonna upload my pics on g4m too. The last time wen USP did it for me (I thoughy he was joking), I got about 20 messages .
As u can see I’m quiet ga-ga over grindr, but the sad fact is that the two guys who have condescended to flirt with me are the one’s who actually see me as a contender for The BF’s affections. Grrr… I now realize how difficult it is for gay men to find partners and how lonely it must be for them. It also reminds me of the fact that how much BF stands to lose by playing with fire each time he flirts/hooks-up online. :O

Being Boring-Pet Shop Boys

I don’t care if u think I am boring, or I dress boring or whatever. There are others out there who may find this boring interesting.

Previous Post

There’s anothe G in his life now. GS. I think its time I followed USP’s
advise
U and ur needs! What u really need is a bit of insecurity!

Thanks for fucking up my Fantasy